I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
