I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize