Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
