last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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