She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
