well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
