I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
