ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
