OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
