Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
