i permit you to call me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
