it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
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she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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