hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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