plz talk dirty to me
Screwed.edu
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
