Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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