'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
