party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
