They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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