And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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