How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
