You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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