I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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