Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
