If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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