apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
