I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
