Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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