can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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