margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
