i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
