if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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