HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
