i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
