Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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