We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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