That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
