They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
