you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
