Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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