A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
