He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize