guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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