i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
