They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
