He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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