let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
