We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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