i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
