What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize