We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize