I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
