dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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