so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
