so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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