she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
