"it" just moved
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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