If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
