if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
