Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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