She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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