i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
