: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
