You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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