My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The best revenge is premature balding
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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