the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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