btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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